"Why I Got
Sober On 1/30/99
Hi my name is DonnaS. and I am an Alcoholic/Addict,
I got Sober on 1/30/99 as I was sick and tired
of being so sick and tired!.
I didn't want to live, but I no longer wanted to
I had first come into the rooms of AA in 1987 , but I came in for all
the wrong reasons.
I was going to lose my 2 sons so I went to a rehab and
went to meetings but..
I didn't want what you people had. I had
reservations and ended up going back to drugs
at first thinking it was ok, as I
was an Alcoholic not a druggie, little did I know soon I was drinking.
time I was out there I overdosed 2 times, but I still was not ready to surrender
to this disease, it took me many years before I finally had enough.
In those years I ran with anything I could, to get out of me,
to not FEEL,
ANYTHING, to be totally numb!! The problem was the drugs and alcohol
other things stopped working. (SI, which I also use the 12 steps to
help me, I am 5 years clean of that,
but knows I am only 1 cut away if I choose
to take my will back)
My life was going no where, my family stopped fighting me to get
and looked the other way... I knew of a friend who was in Recovery for
and he tried a few times to help me, but I didn't want it at the time.
was so depressed, I was not working, and I had finally hit my bottom.
my 40th birthday, I lay on the couch in the dark, feeling totally hopeless,
wanting all the hurt, the pain of my life to end, I just didn't know what to do.
As I lay there this feeling of hope ( a ever so small feeling but enough to get
me up )
ran through me. I got up and called that friend and asked him to take me
to a meeting, I was ready. LOL he told me if I wanted to go that he could
not take me
I had to do this for me and to get in car and go. I was scared
to do that alone,
I was angry he would not help me.
I sunk back down on the
couch and cried and felt alone, and the FEAR was so overwhelming
that it took me
till 1/30/99 to go to my first AA meeting.
I remember it so clearly, I was
shaking and FEAR was riding with me.
I got to the meeting and circled the
building, it took me awhile but I got my butt in the door.
There were only 5
people there and I almost left, until someone stuck there hand out and said
those wonderful words, WELCOME! he told me to have a cup of coffee and
It was a small group, but I sat there and I raised my hand when they
if there was anyone with a burning desire, and I told them I was just
from a long run and I was finally ready to surrender!.
I did A 90
and 90 and I got a sponsor and did what was asked,
I picked up ash trays , I
came early stayed late, got a secretary commitment and I kept coming.
I want to Thank My HP for helping me be the
person I am today. I could not have done this alone.
I have a wonderful sponsor and a net of people I can talk to when I feel like life is to much.
I am very
Grateful today, to be alive.
I am now chairing my home group and I go on speaking
I speak at a Rehab once a month, and most important
to help the new comer or anyone who needs it.
I have a website
that is a big part of my recovery ,
plus I have a net of people on the internet.
( we are going to an AA convention in May in Cooksburg PA) I love
going to them.
All I know is if I keep an open mind and
work the steps into my life
and pray on a daily basis and go to meetings and
keep my communications open
and NOT take my Will back, Just for Today
I can stay clean&sober.
Today I have a full plate, BUT I don't have to drink/drug/cut over it.
I have TOOLS to work with.
God Bless Peace
Out DonnaS (ds9090/ds_avalon)
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